A Life That Was Lived: Elegy for Erik

Once, we floated down tired pathways to beaches,
Swam in salmon run water,
Merrily drinking from bottles, and recycling waste
left by careless drunkards.
The sun massaged our bodies as we stumbled back to camp.

I can no longer reminisce about Toronto days,
see the glorious tattoo that embodied my youth,
that crescent moon; spirit of the party.
Now there are no tales of the old hardcore raves; No pirate island,
I never had the strength to visit.

You were my pirate, my kandikid raver,
who bonded with me over times when ravers arms flowed like liquid,
and DJs actually DJ’d.
your humour and levity
carried me through my struggles
Never will there be a more ridiculously adorable batman.
We can only try and create in ourselves that absurdity and strength.

I’ve never seen a smile that could warm the hearts of everyone,
a friend, a volunteer, a couchsurfing bum, living a dream on a boat,
sailing into waters that were charted but never seen so clearly.
I dreamed of joining you on the coast,
escaping the city to become your brother of the ocean.
I would still gladly pay your fare back to Vancouver,
if only you could just come visit again.

Our conversations carried late into the night,
And you were one of the best cuddlers I have ever met,
Because love flowed from your body, like light from the sun.
Each hug, was a grasp as if it might be the last I’d ever see,
And yet the one I always expected I would have.

We will always have Pemberton:
consuming egregious amounts of fireball, feeding our minds,
our collective embrace until 6AM, when you knew in your soul
that it was better in the tent than any artist party could be.

It’s impossible to grieve, yr death
inspires questions for my life,
as I try to embrace the spirit of your:
moose backpack wearing.
booty short rocking; glowing smile, and the
little bounce in yr walk.
I live to embody that exuberance for existence.
While you will never spend another night on my couch, nor
play me an obscene amount of happy hardcore.

I will never wonder if in your life:
you had ever truly lived it.

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